We all do it from time to time. Some of us are adept at being able to recover from any situation whether it is a child throwing up in a restaurant or your husband losing his job. As a mother you get many of these opportunities as your primary role is that of nurturer and supporter of the other family members. As a teenager I loved doing this. I loved being handed a situation at a moments notice and seeing how I could form things and situation to meet the needed outcome. As a single adult I was at my peak. I could take disasters at work and contrive a good system in a short amount of time. This skilled flowed over into other responsibilities I had as well. This last year has been full of these opportunities. Daily I am balancing two babies as well as four other children, meeting their daily needs and helping to nurture them into desirable teenagers (that could be an oxymoron, but I am giving it my best effort anyway). On top of this I have had many health challenges, and had a lot of pain, and 3 surgeries which only one of which I knew about ahead of time.
I think I am done with flying by the seat of my pants. Maybe I will start wearing skirts. I know that would not solve my problem, but I just feel like I spend a lot of emotional and mental time on keeping things afloat. This morning was particularly rough as three of my children spent hours yelling/crying at me. One seven year old and two 8 month olds are more than enough to drive you crazy. The seven year old was tired, but has not reached that logical point where you can help him monitor his behavior. The babies are teething - we have had at least 5 teeth cut in the last 5 days. This morning I don't know what the problem was other than continual crying. We shall see how things go after they wake from their naps. I am indeed very thankful for the last hour and a half of naps and school. Often people talk about seeing a light at the end of a tunnel, I feel I was the tunnel collapse.
I know that no one can control everything. I know that there will always be more things to do, than we are able to do. In fact, I feel that is one of life's biggest challenges/teaching opportunities - how do we spend our time? Right now I am trying to sort out how to meet the needs of my family, while balancing the responsibilities I have. The idea of getting a cleaning service sounds delightful and like it would meet many of my challenges (I am sure the seven year old would be happier if he never needed to do another chore - and that would certainly give me less to work with him on), but I feel that would simply be avoiding that situation which would surely be replaced with other such challenge.
So now as I hear my baby girl delightfully sqealling away to let me know that she is awake from her nap, I find my mind pondering on how to thin down the chaos and promote peace in my house. Oddly enough I do have a few things I already know that need to be part of the solution: exercise program, time for me without kids about 15 minutes/day, children being taught their responsibilities, time for me to create/learn (I have been teaching myself piano - this has a double blessing of being something creative for me, but which also brings a nice peaceful spirit into my home).
I am trying to figure out my priorities more specifically. Yes, family is first. Yes, I need to take care of myself. Yes, I need patience (if I get any more of these, I will have to open a doctor's practice). So I know that I need to blog more often as it helps me to organize my mind and also helps with the need that I have to create. Hmmmm - I feel a little all over the page, but maybe that is because I am still flying a little to much by the seat of my pants.
