How many times have you heard, "The Book of Mormon is the best marriage counseling book", "The Book of Mormon was the best business course I ever took", or "The Book of Mormon is the best parenting book out there" or something similar?
I always had faith that this was true, but I never understood it until recently. I think the clarifying thought was when I reflected on a book that is one of my favorites, "The Five Love Languages". It teaches about how to learn how you interpret love and how you express love. It also has you examine how your spouse interprets and expresses love. As I thought about that the thought occurred to me how do the scriptures (the Book of Mormon specifically) give you better advice than that? Then it occurred to me that in the scriptures not only are you being given that type of information, but you are also having the spirit work upon you (because you are reading His Word as well as obeying the commandment to read His Word). The Spirit will not only help you to recognize changes you need to make within yourself, but will also help to increase your virtue (strength based in righteousness) to make those changes. It has been my experience that as I draw myself closer to the Lord through reading his word and acting upon it (through service, etc) that I increase in strength in that area. He makes me more capable as I seek him.
Another way the spirit helps us is by truly understanding the situation (the "others" involved, whether they are a spouse, friend, coworkers, etc). Sometimes our solutions to a problem are based on our incorrectly viewing the situation. I have learned that when I have a friend who is having difficulties and they come seeking support that I need to not only listen to what they say, but also search for the Spirit's instructions. There have been a few times that I have been able to understand underlying problems to situations, not out of my own wisdom, but because the Spirit has directed me to ask or say certain things that my mind had no knowledge of. When we read the scriptures, we are opening ourselves to those types of experiences. We are inviting the Lord and his Spirit into our lives. When we are at a point where we are struggling, we need the guidance of the Spirit to help us humble ourselves, to forgive others, and love unconditionally. This is one of the key things that many people are unaware of, when we seek change, we need to start with ourselves. Often when we humble ourselves, forgive and love we no longer have the problems we had before. Is this a change that results from your actions, or does the change within yourself make the situation less irritating? I would suggest both. That often times when we choose to act better, others do too. When we change our attitude, many times the things that were so bothersome are barely noticeable.
The difference between many popular marriage, parenting, business help books and the scriptures are two fold - 1. They may tell you what is wrong but they have no ability to help you develop attributes that will help you with that problem, 2. They rely on your ability to understand the problem instead of bringing in an unbiased person (the Spirit) to help you to understand what you need to do.
I spent many years trying to find answers in academia or the media (Hollywood). It was only when I whole heartedly accepted that if I wanted personal peace as well as a good marriage, good relationship with my kids, easier job with parenting, etc than I really needed to put God first. The way that happens is, in part, by studying and applying the scriptures into my life. It is by seeking the Spirit when I am struggling, through prayer, and in my trials. One of the main roles of the Spirit is to teach us all things (not just about God). I take the Lord at His word. I seek the Spirit when I am trying to teach my children patience, when I am working on a free-lance assignment, or when I am not feeling loved. I have learned it is only when I submit myself to studying the scriptures and praying whole heartedly that I find the information I need for the situations that I am in. The answers come differently sometimes while I am reading the scriptures I will read of an example of what I need to do. Other times I have had a random thought enter into my mind that speaks peace to my heart and I feel that it is the right direction to go. And finally other times, I am directed to a specific resource that has the information that I need to make the decision or change in my life.
Now you are probably wondering what about the other people with which you are having the challenge with? What should I do about that? That will have to wait for part 2.
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