tweener's and dating

JJ would probably kill me for this picture, but this was from his 7th birthday.  He wanted a 1,000 donuts.  I guess I win again for ingenuity.

On a different point, JJ informed me today that he has a girlfriend.  Yes, she tried to hold his hand in church  yesterday and there was reports of a possible kiss.  Hmm, how do I feel about this?  I have to chuckle as I think back to growing up, this was about the age I met my "high school sweetheart" and we grew up a few miles from each other, started dating our senior year of high school and our freshman year of college.  Obviously it did not work out for us, but that is fine with me because I have my perfect match.  

So back to JJ.  We talked about dating and that I felt he needed to wait until he was 16 before he was ready to start thinking about holding girls hands and giving a girl a kiss good night.  Until he was 16 he needed to be focused on developing friendships with boys and girls and figuring out what types of people he liked and would be a good match for him.  

I am sure I sound old fashioned, but as I look back on my personal experience (I started dating when I was 14) and the experience of friends and then later of young woman in my church I was an advisor for, I really feel that waiting until a young woman/man is 16 is wise.  I use to tell the 13 year old young woman that I worked with, it is ok not to date right now.  All the girls I know that got pregnant before they were married started dating before they were 16.  Now I am not trying to suggest this is a magic bullet for all the world's social problems, but rather to let them know that they really need to think about where the choices they are making are going to/could lead.

As a side note, many of the young woman I was a councilor/advisor to did wait until they were 16 or older to date.  In general, they had a lot less drama, chose more stable young men and seemed to better understand themselves within relationships.

Will my kids start dating when they are 16 maybe, we will see.  One of their parents did not date much until their mid 20's.  I guess we will see how reality unfolds our future, but for now, 7 is definitely too young and 16 is not really that far away.