This mom rocks!

Every once in a while life parallels my emotions...in a good way! This morning is one of those days where while everything has not gone according to my plans, I have none-the-less had great achievements. I have gotten laundry washed, sorted, and put away with the kid's help (all my kids have about two weeks worth of clean clothes). I have washed dishes, and re-packaged 40 pounds of hamburger (bulk purchase in too large of containers to just shove into the freezer). I have bathed two babies, gotten three kids off to school, and I am sure half a dozen more things. But for me the most important parts are helping my kids feel successful and ready in getting ready for the day, having a good attitude all morning long, and did I mention playing games with Maggie after I successfully got two babies to sleep?

I am learning to measure success on my terms. For me, it is not about what most of the world values or gawk at, but rather helping my children take those baby steps to becoming successful, happy and independent individuals. I have seen a lot of success by giving them responsibilities to accomplish every morning and then assisting them with the chores. For example, the older three kids do dishes four times a week, two breakfast and two dinners, I tell them I am available to help them for the first 15 minutes after the meal is over. They can choose to waste that time or take advantage of it to their benefit. I know this means I am still doing dishes almost 100% of the time, but I am finding my kids quality of doing dishes improving, and I hope they are starting to learn how quickly and easy dishes really are.

This picture was actually taken a month ago, not today, but it so represent how happy our family feels when I am being successful for my family.

Books read - The Lost Symbol

I read this book recently (on my husband's new E-reader) and found it to be fun and interesting. I learned a bit about Mason's through it. I have a grandpa and others who I have known who are/were Mason's. I thought it had an interesting perspective about symbolism. He described taking communion/sacrament that most Christian groups do every Sabbath. The way he described it to his college students, they were all repulsed. When he pointed out he was talking about communion (eating and drinking the symbolic equivalent of another person's flesh and blood) they thought he was describing some type of pagan or demonic cult. He then explained to them that often when outside the group, it can be difficult to understand symbolism.

The book on the whole was great. I had a difficult time putting it down to do what I needed to do (laundry, cooking, playing with my kids, etc), which was additionally challenging because it was a really long book, so I spent a lot of time in this dilemma. It was a fun book and I appreciate a book that causes me to stop and think about how I perceive the world around me.

How many...?

Who can forget this commercial from our childhood days? How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie center? One...two...three...crunch...the world may never know. Very clever advertising. This is somewhat the way I feel about growing out my hair. Two weeks ago I shaved it bald. Now I anxiously await it's growth. My kids will tell you that it is no longer prickly. It is considered by most who rub it as being soft. So two weeks in it is soft although you can still see my scalp through it. And thus we will wait to see how long it will take to grow out.

kid's jokes and other funny things

Brother: I love mommy with knockers.

Sister: What?
Brother: A mommy who tells knock knock jokes.

(this conversation was actually between a friend's kids)

MaggieMae: Mom, did you know that buggers are sticky?

Mom: Um yes (I am currently driving down the freeway)

MaggieMae: Mom, did you know that buggers are warm?

Mom: Um thanks.

In church, JJ is snuggling up with mom.

JJ: Mom, did you know it is warm under your arm (armpit)?

Mom: Yes JJ.

JJ: It is kind of cozy there. Can I put my hands there, they are cold?

I could never be a mother of six children...

I could never be the mother of three autistic children... I could never be the mother of twins... And the list goes on. I often have comments made to me like this. I don't normally make the comment that comes to my mind when I hear this, "Yes, if you were in that position, you would do it". Much like the person who goes through a child having cancer or the spouse who has been paralyzed. We all find the way to make what we have work, but recently I have been giving this some thought as to how I am successful when so many others confess their certain inability to handle such a situation. The conclusion I came to is that I can do this because I am not the person I was when I was a mother of one. I think often people think of how much "work it is to be a mom of one" and times that by six. If I interacted with my children in the way I did when I was a mom of one, I would be exhausted (well, ok, I'd be even more exhausted). A beautiful analogy came to my mind the other day when grilling sandwiches for lunch. I realized that if I did each sandwich individually, that would be a lot more work, however, I have learned that if I cook six sandwiches at the same time, then the work is more than one, but significantly less that 6 times one. I reflected on this premise and decided that I must do that in other areas of my life. So I started on a hunt for other examples of this in my life. Here is what I came up with:

• I often combine my children's needs together. For example, I cook for, bath, and dress my children together. I help them to understand that part of a family means being patient for each other and well as pulling together.
• I encourage self-independence. My older kids are capable of bathing, dressing, washing clothes, folding and putting away their laundry, making their lunches, and following a morning "getting ready for the day" list. My toddlers walk most of the time.
• I insist on consistent sleep times. My kids go to bed early(7/7:30) and may arise early if they want. They can not come out of bed until 6:00 am. Weekends and holidays are the same. We have one cousin that will spend the nights occasionally. When he joins our family he sleeps our schedule (which is his school night schedule). I find a well rested family is less emotional, performs activities and responsibilities more effectively and argue less.
• I am very consistent with the rules, and expect all of my children to follow them. This has had many extra blessings, I am told by others that my children follow directions well and have good manners. While my children will still goof off, they know that there is a "bar" and expect to be help up to realistic expectations.
• My children help out with chores. This usually starts around 5 years old. Before that they assist mom, after 5 they have their own chores that mom assists with when she is available. My kids do the dishes, laundry, scrub bathrooms, vacuum floors including stairs, and pull weeds.

These are some of the more physical changes of being a mom of six. Some of the emotional ones are letting your kids tough it out. I am very laid back when it comes to my kids as far as what they can do, etc. I am also very aware of what they are capable of and what is beyond them (usually emotionally). I don't push my kids beyond their limits, but I don't fret about the little things either. I also have realized that tomorrow is a do-over. When I mess something up or they do, we just do-over it tomorrow. Life is rarely a "do-or-die" situation. We focus a lot on learning and improving not on our failures.

So could I be a mother of a kid with cancer or have a spouse that is paralyzed? Yes, but I am fine to stay right where I am. Could you be a mother of six...mother of 3 kids with autism...mother of twin toddlers? I expect you could, but like most things in life it is a journey.

My advice? Don't worry about whether you could handle someone else's place in life, just focus on being where you are.

What is a talent?

Wow, that is a big stack of coins! Got to love when your clip art is not exactly what you intended! I guess I need to work on my talent for matching up pictures to my posts a little bit better.

I picked this picture because I can not think of developing or having talents without thinking of the Parable of the Talents. I think that many people have very different definitions of what a talent is. For some it is a hobby that shows people how well you excel in a particular area (piano, dancing, etc). Others say a talent is a way to develop and discipline yourself/your personality (talent for mechanical things). Lastly we have a view that talents are the polite way of naming something about a person to give something that everyone can be successful at regardless if it brings any extended worth to the individual or society as a whole (that person is talented at flipping cards). For me I have not yet developed a concise description of what talents are, but I know they have a few qualities:

• A talent must be developed over time through discipline. Some people are gifted in music, art, academics, etc but it is not a talent until you develop it beyond what comes naturally into something of greater worth because of your action to develop it.
• A talent is not meant for self-consumption. It is meant to be shared in a positive uplifting manner to benefit the community individually or at large. There are some who will take a hobby which it's main focus is to entertain the individual, and claim it to be a talent. It is possible to have a talent be a hobby, but a hobby does not necessarily fit the definition of a talent.
• A talent is meant to take you outside of your comfort zone in a comfortable way. It is a way of taking a leap of faith while having a hand to hold.
• A talent develops you. It causes you to reach deep within yourself to bring forth what could not come out on it's own. It is a vehicle for you to develop such traits as patience, persistence, determination, humility, reaching out to others, etc.

On a personal note:

• I think that a talent is based on creativity. Most often it creates something new. It is not talented to continually repeat something you have mastered in the past. You must continue to create new levels of competency and development.
• I also believe that talents you develop now help you to prepare for the future, most importantly future trials.
• I feel that development of a talent brings you closer to God. I know that when I have the opportunity to focus on drawing/painting, there is a peace and centeredness that I have experienced in only one other situation - the feelings of the Spirit. I feel a deep connection with the Creator as I create my meager attempts at art.

The Parable of the Talents is one of the more commonly known Parables (at least in the circles I travel in). It portrays the story of a Master leaving for a time, but before he does, he calls three of his servants to him. He gives them different sums of money (called Talents) one he gives 5, another 2, and the last he gives one. Then he departs. The servants that were given 5 and 2talents put their money to the traders and receive back 5 and 2 more Talents respectively. The servant that received but one talent buried it. When the Master comes back he calls all three back to him to give an accounting of what they have done with his Talents. The first two report back predictably showing him their increase. He is pleased. The final servant shows him the one Talent and says that he knew the Master was harsh and reaped where he had not sown and so he hid the talent. The Master is displeased with the servant telling him, "Thou wicked and slothful servant..." and takes the original Talent away from him and gives it to the first (St. Matt. 25:14-30).

Things that impact me from this story is that Talents are given to us to "add unto". In other words to improve upon. This is why I don't choose to say that people are talented just because they can do something well. It could be their "gift". I only consider it a talent if they have worked to improve and develop it. I also believe that one of the things we will be held accountable to when we leave this life to enter the next is what we did with our time and talents. We will be called upon to recon with the Lord and to show him what we did with what we had. I believe that time is part of that responsibility that we have. It is one of the ways we are equal. We all can choose to spend our time how we desire. Some with have to spend more time at work to support a family, others may have health needs that also take a lot of time, but we all seem to have some measure of discretionary time. I feel that one of the important things we can do with this time is developing our talents as well as helping those whom we have responsibility towards develop their talents.