It is interesting to me when Jeff and I learn something new about each other. The last few days Jeff's been very busy with Cub Scouts Blue and Gold Banquet/Space Derby. So I haven't really gotten any relief with the kids and was feeling really tuckered out when he got home around 9:30. We got ourselves in bed and started talking, one of our favorite things to do together. I told him about conversations I had had with old friends recently and how it made me stop and think about how I was growing up, and how I am now. I asked him about some of the comments friends had made about some of my less desirable traits and if he thought they were still true (full disclosure - yes I agree I was controlling, uptight, and very self-confident/always thought if I was right, you must be wrong). These are traits that I hope to have turned into a more positive direction.
An underlying one that contributed to these was that I lacked patience. The Lord taught me patience in my 20's and any patience I missed out on back then, my kids are continuing with. I think most kids teach their parents patience, but until you have to wait four years to hear your child even imitate your telling her you love her, you don't understand patience - it took a few more for her to learn to hug, and that was only child #1. My next two children presented with similar challenges, although I believe they also had anger issues with it. Anyway, as we discussed these things it just reaffirmed to me, yet again, that I was with the right guy.
So here is the part that surprised me, I shared with him some childhood memories that I had never shared with anyone. It seemed odd to me that he knows me so well, yet knows so little about me before we were married. He can look at a situation and be able to tell you what I would do, etc but he could not tell you much about before we were married. I guess I never realized how much faith we put into our decision to get married and trusted it to God. The wonderful thing about our marriage is that not only are we supportive of each other, but our expectations are so reasonable, that they are obtainable. This full acceptance has helped to nurture a desire individually within ourselves to be better than we are.
I think this is one of the reasons ways that keeping a journal is such a good idea. It encourages reflection and helps us to see progress. I feel that I have definitely made progress in my life if in no other way that I am happy on a daily basis.
2 comments:
I had to chuckle when I read about your traits. It's no wonder we get along so well! Sounds exactly like me...
Kevin is enjoying reading my personal history entries - he said he is learning a lot about me(and we've been married almost 13 years)!
Those Parks are great men, aren't they? :)
Jeff did a great job last night w/ cubs... sorry it was such a late one!
Just a year ago I learned something about Aaron that was a total surprise to me; it was when we got our puppy for Christmas and then ended up having her put down just a few weeks later due to a lot of health problems she had. He & I had such different attitudes/opinions on the subject of "euthanasia" (for pets) and what amazed me wasn't so much the way he felt about it; it was that we had been married 11 1/2 years (at that point) and this was a side of him I had NEVER seen!
It makes it fun though; how great that human personalities & experiences are so multi-faceted that we can still be learning new things about each other after many years.
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