Conflict, part 3 and rules of conflicts

I suppose I should have started with a definitions page as terminology has many different connotations to different people. So for purposes of this blog post on Conflict we are using these definitions:

Conflict - two (or more) people who do not agree on a particular idea, plan, or action. There is no malice on either part, just a disagreement. This may have intense feelings involved, but communication is polite, respectful, and kind.

Argument - a conflict that also includes intense feelings that are expressed through tone, word, and demeanor of those involved.

Understanding - two people having an awareness between them about a particular subject or one or both's view on a particular subject. This does not mean they have to agree, but it means that they have learned from the other person sharing their personal perspective and while they may not share the other person's view or it may seem illogical to them, they can with words explain the other person's position.

My husband and I have evolved rules for having conflicts. They have never been formalized before this moment, but are just some basic ideas that we follow.

1. No name calling, putting the other person down.
2. No keeping score.
3. No bringing up past situation to involve in current conflict. Past situations may be used to explain (i.e. this reminds me of the time we.... We do not say things like "you always...).
4. We try to express things positively.
5. We try to express things as they are, no exaggerating.
6. No door slamming, yelling, etc.
7. Very little humor as that has caused misunderstandings during conflicts.
8. No sarcasm.