The Magic Word

If you already read my Manners post, this will make sense.  Just a brief review - in my world (that I am teaching to my children) there are Good Manners and everything else.  Everything else would be classified as Bad Manners.  So where does the "The Magic Word" fit in?  

When my children have asked what "The Magic Word" is I tell them "Abra-Cadabra".  It works best when you are making something disappear.  To me "Please" is not magic, it is Good Manners.  There is nothing magic about Good Manners, it is simply a way to show respect to others and yourself.

I must confess that I have another dislike for "Please" being wrongly used.  I have had three children that have had serious speech delay challenges.  I have heard arguments back and forth about whether to teach children to use "please" and "thank you".  For those of you not familiar I will give you a brief update.  There are some in the disability community who feel that it is most important that their children be able to have Good Manners, even if that is all they are able to communicate in other ways.  I believe this is based off of the idea that at the very minimal your children will be respected for being respectful.  There are others that feel that specifically "Please" and "Thank you" should be taught only after your children have been able to sufficiently communicate their needs.  This thought process is that we don't want our child using "please" instead of communicating the actual need (instead of asking for a cookie, the child simply says "please").  For me I fall into the latter group.  My first concern was not my children having manners, it was communication.  For 2 years old my oldest daughter's only form of communication were two phrases, "Shut the door" and "Watch out".  This went on for 9 months.  I literally remember crying one day because I could not find a cupboard or hallway door to close (my usual reaction to her saying this was to close whatever was open and this usually resolved whatever it was that she was talking about).  She kept repeating it over and over again.  Finally I opened a door, just so I could close it.  That was a day I questioned my sanity (oddly enough I did not think to question hers).  Now three and a half years later, she can communicate all her needs as well as being a chatty little first grader.  She has excellent Manners including asking to be excused from the table after a meal (that one she picked up from somewhere else and brought it home).

So if you ask me what "The Magic Word" is, don't be surprised if I ask you where your Top Hat, Cape, and Wand are.