I have been a mom for almost 7 years, while a lot of those responsibilities were the most time consuming part of my job, they do not catch the essence of my job. I have done a lot of pondering and evaluating on what my job entails. A large chunk of this research was to look back at my life (and to ask my husband for his personal feelings about what his mom and what I do) and have a amassed a composite picture of it. This entry will not detail all of it, but rather some of what I have gleaned from my mother and others just like her.
Like most people, I think my Mom is the best. She did so much for me. I don't think about diapers, laundry, or chauffeuring. I think about the time she told me she would have to trust my judgement when as a sixteen year old I told her I was dating a 20 year old (what was I thinking? As a side note, that confidence she voiced in me paid off when I found out what he was thinking and dumped him after the second date).
I feel that my Mom has the gift of "faith to believe". I never questioned if my Mom believed in God, believed we should do what was right even when it was inconvenient, believed that ours was to honor what we had promised God that we would do. I learned from her that I did not need to know every little detail before you could have faith in God. She gave me the opportunity to learn the gospel very young. We had the scriptures in a "reader format" (think comic book without all the "POW's or BAM's") that had tapes that went along with the words. I loved laying on the living room floor and reading these.
She also taught me that when things needed to be done, regardless of how undesirable, that you just do it. I have done somethings that have surprised a lot of people -waiting tables in High School with no front teeth (due to car accident) being one example. She taught me lying was never acceptable. Hard work is another asset that she gave me. She has given me many other gifts, but the best is her friendship. I can honestly say that she has been my best friend for almost two decades now (since I became an adult).
There have been other women in my life who have taught me wonderful things that to me rank right up there with the "Mom" category. My Mother-in-law has been a great influence on me. She has taught me to be more gracious and we enjoy discussing many contemporary topics. There are many other woman out there who have influenced me over the years. I still return to the idea that being a mother has nothing to do with laundry, chauffeuring, or cooking. It has to do with patiently teaching the next generation how to take care of themselves and the world around them. It may come in a package of cooking, cleaning, or chauffeuring but it is the teaching that is involved. It is the talents that are developed in the process.
It has taken me a few years to appreciate this responsibility. I spent sometime feeling lonely and depressed about motherhood. Then I spent a few years feeling overwhelmed and desperately trying to stay ahead of the game. Recently I started a search to better understand motherhood. What are mother's suppose to do? I knew it was more than cooking, cleaning, and chauffeuring, but what more? Then I stumbled across an article that talked about Motherhood that was written in 1981 by Ezra Taft Benson. He speaks of what is valuable about women and what our responsibilities are. This for me was one of the turning points to me understanding and finally enjoying Motherhood.
As a final note, I know that I am breaking some of the English Grammar rules by capitalizing Mom, Mother, and Motherhood, but I do it as a form of respect for the position. We would all do well to give a little more respect to Mothers.
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