Non-manners, is there such a thing?

To me it is interesting that as I have had to think about teaching my children manners, I have had to redefine them.  I use to think of Manners as having Good Manners, Bad Manners, and a third category - Non-Manners.  

Good Manners meant saying please and thank you, asking if you "May I have ..." instead of saying "Can I have...".  I had been taught that one reason Manners are suppose to be used is so that all know what to expect and all are respected.  When I became pregnant and I felt like my hips were falling apart, I began to appreciate people offering a lady their seat in a crowded room or bus.  I never would have known why this would be so beneficial until I was the one in the situation.

Bad Manners was being rude: burping (in USA), farting, not thanking someone or asking politely for something, no saying "please", dirty looks, ignoring others in obvious need, etc.

Then in my mind there was "Non-Manners".  This would be neither Good or Bad Manners.  So while you are not saying please and thank you, you are also not being rude or disrespectful.  This would be the category that I would place most people in basing this off of 5 years of waitressing (yes, I made this word up - I know I gave that disclaimer in my bio.) experience.

Then I started teaching my children about manners.  I heard myself using  phases like "Remember your Manners" and "Don't forget your Manners".  This is when a little voice in my head (that usually has an obscure sense of humor says, "Those are manners, just not good ones.")  So then I switched to reminding my children, "Please use your Good Manners".    That was when I came to the realization that if I am encouraging my children to develop Good Manners (which I take as a responsibility of Motherhood) than what I always classified as Non-Manners is really Bad Manners.  I mean can you hear my saying, "Don't forget your Non-Manners.  This is one of the things that made me realize that in our society we become so accepting of everyone (because we do not want to offend anyone) that we end up making specialized categories that don't really exist.  Non-Manners ask Emily Post about that one, I bet she has never heard of it.

So I guess Manners now goes into the Black and White category of my life.

PS  In our house the "Magic Word" is Abra-Cadabra.  And it gets you nothing unless you make a floating person under a sheet disappear.