Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Article about giving presentations and how to handle Q & A. I put it into bullet points to make it easier for me to read.

Arizona Republic 05/29/2013, Page CL01

 Get the Q&A session right. 
After a presentation, speaker should keep engaging  audience

By Anita Bruzzese Gannett

 You’ve just finished your big presentation and take a quiet breath of relief.  Not so fast.  A critical part of your presentation is about to take place. And if you’re not careful, it could spin out of control and undo all your hard work.  That’s because it’s now time for the question-and-answer period.
 Many speakers believe that once they’ve gone through their PowerPoint, they’re off the hook. They can answer a few simple questions and head for the exit.

 But speakers can make many mistakes when starting their question-and-answer session, says Ben Decker, an executive at Decker Communications. Some mistakes and reminders:
  1. Don't respond, “That’s a good question!” when an audience member makes a query. “That’s a bad habit,” Decker says. “It’s just a filler while they try to think of something to say, or they’re trying to give a pat on the back to the person who asked it. But that can alienate the other audience members when you don’t say the same thing to them when they ask a question.”
  2. Speakers should not be afraid to pause before answering a question to gather their thoughts, he says. At the same time, they should think about how to link answers to a main point made in the presentation. “Question-and-answer sessions are as much of the communication experience as the presentation or speech,” Decker says. “It could be even the most important part in order to get buy-in.”
  3. Another problem: A speaker may try to back away from a confrontational questioner or deny what is being said, says Nick Morgan, founder of Public Words.  Instead, a speaker should move and stand next to the questioner, facing the same direction. This strategy maintains your authority but calms down the questioner because “they really are looking for recognition,” he says. “Then, instead of rejecting what they’re saying, reflect it. Say something like, ‘What I hear you saying is that you’re upset by my proposal because you feel I’ve left out the shepherds and the sheep. Is that fair?’ ” Morgan says.  This helps gain the person’s agreement, he says. “Then, you can say something like, ‘I appreciate your point of view. In fact, you remind me of a story. ...’ and then you gradually change the subject by taking it in a direction that you want to go in,” Morgan says.
  4. Decker agrees that you never should argue with someone in the audience. He recommends having a half-dozen stories at the ready to use to evoke emotion and help connect you with the audience.
  5. When a question is off topic or too elementary, a speaker needs to respond with something like, “Can we take that offline? That’s really not on topic for our group time together, but I’d be happy to chat with you afterward,” Morgan says.
  6. The question-and-answer session should not be viewed as something to just get through at the end of a presentation, Decker says. It’s an opportunity to hammer home points and connect with your audience.
  7. One key to that connection is making sure you look directly at the questioner when the query is being made, then direct the answer to the audience to make them feel included, he says.
  8. Morgan advises speakers not to panic if they don’t immediately get a question. “Be prepared to wait a full 6 seconds,” he says. “That’s how long it can take before someone responds. But it won’t take any longer than that. If you don’t wait, you send out a signal to your audience that you don’t really want to hear from them, and they will abide by that signal.”
  9. ‘‘Question-and-answer sessions are as much of the communication experience as the presentation or speech.”
BEN DECKER
Executive at Decker Communications

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Is it just tantrums or a developmental disorder?

I read this article and thought it really expressed the differences between tantrums and melt downs (behavior from a child who is not developmentally able to communicate needs).  These are not my own ideas, however I agree with them. - Kristina

8 Signs It’s More Than a Discipline Problem
http://www.babble.com/kid/child-development/8-signs-behavior/

Is it just tantrums or a developmental disorder?

bcjenniferjeannepatterson Jennifer Jeanne Patterson |
For years, friends, family and professionals told Lucy Pritzker her young son, who was prone to meltdowns, was simply willful. “He’s manipulating you,” they said.
“But it wasn’t about our parenting. It didn’t make sense,” Pritzker said. “I knew him on a level other people didn’t. He’s a good boy. His meltdowns weren’t about him getting his way. He’d be so apologetic afterwards. You could see the pain he was putting himself through because he felt so badly about his behavior.”
Turns out Pritzker was right. Now, at age 11, her son has been diagnosed with a nonverbal learning disability as well as PDD-NOS, an autism spectrum disorder.
According to the CDC, 17% of children have a developmental or behavioral disability – and less than 50% are identified as having a challenge before they’re old enough to start school. Frequently, parents tune in before pediatricians do. So how do you know if your child’s behavior stems from a discipline problem or a developmental delay?
“All tantrums have a communicative intent,” says Michelle Suarez, MS, ED, founder of Kaleidoscope Interactive, which offers families therapeutic intervention and behavioral support. “The key is to understand the whys.”
Clinical psychologist Dr. Matthew Cruger of The Child Mind Institute in New York City agrees.
“Parents need to ask, ‘Is their child misbehaving because their child is a child, with limited experience understanding why their parents are setting developmentally appropriate rules? Is their child simply trying to get his or her way?’,” Dr. Cruger said. “Or is their child experiencing some kind of anxiety because they are pushed to do something they would prefer to avoid? These can be typical reasons why a tantrum occurs.”
Here are some questions you can ask yourself during a temper tantrum to help determine whether it’s manipulative or potentially a developmental issue.
1. You don’t understand the cause of the tantrum.
Manipulative: Your child pitches a fit when you say, “No, I will not buy you a toy.”
Atypical development: Your child cannot explain why he is upset – and you can’t figure it out. “Parents become in tune with their child’s reactions. You know when your child is fussy and upset, that they are tired,” said Dr. Cruger. “But if you are uncertain about or unable to predict your child’s reactions to stimuli, that may be a sign that something is amiss.”
2. Bribes or positive reinforcements don’t work.
Manipulative: Before you enter a grocery store, you say to your child, “You can have a lollipop if you behave.” And she behaves.
Atypical development: If/then statements often don’t work. “With young children, you can have an incentive for them to focus on to guide their behavior,” Dr. Cruger said. “But for children with atypical development, a trigger – like the proximity of strangers or too loud noise – might disrupt their ability to keep that cue in the forefront of their minds.”
3. You can’t stop the tantrum.
Manipulative: Your child hollers for a toy. You give in and buy it – and the tantrum stops.
Atypical development: You give in and buy it – and the tantrum keeps going. “Some kids get so emotionally aroused that the situation transitions from the toy to needing help calming down,” Dr. Cruger said. “Others tantrum for a long time because they have difficulty controlling their impulses or reactions – which would enable them to calm down and manage their response.”
4. Your child doesn’t feel satisfaction after the tantrum.
Manipulative: Your child is happy with the result of her tantrum. She got her toy.
Atypical development: Your child is exhausted from the tantrum. And may no longer want the toy. “One of the markers of atypical development is how rigidly a child wants to hold onto a set routine for doing things in order for them to feel calm,” Dr. Cruger said.
5. Your child can’t calm herself down when upset.
Manipulative: Your child knows to find mom or dad to feel better. And does.
Atypical development: Your child throws a bike. “One of your jobs as a parent is to teach your children how to soothe themselves,” Dr. Cruger said. “Atypically developing children may have a hard time regulating their reactions based on the direction of their parents because on a brain basis, they are not tuned in to social relationships the same way.”
6. You notice your child’s environment triggers the tantrums.
Manipulative: Your child screams and kicks to try to get you to comply to a request.
Atypical development: Your child becomes overwhelmed by feelings or his environment, like a change in plans or noise, and may cover ears/hide. “If it’s those sort of stimuli, or being forced out of a routine that a child has a preference for, that are provoking a reaction, that may be a good reason to consider an evaluation,” Dr. Cruger said.
7. Your child’s teacher has concerns.
Manipulative: Your teacher says your child is well-behaved at school.
Atypical development: “Some kids with atypical development function very well with adults, but not with peers,” Dr. Cruger said. “That’s where teachers’ input can be very valuable. The teacher won’t be the person making a diagnosis, but they might be highlighting concerns for you about how things go.”
8. Your gut tells you there is something more going on.
Manipulative: You know in your heart you shouldn’t give in, but you do.
Atypical development: Your gut says your child is different. “Your gut is a good instinct in many cases. Parents often say, ‘We always knew something was a little different,’” Dr. Cruger said. “They’re really describing at an early age their child was much less responsive to their interactions and involvement.”