Tuesday, August 30, 2011

My "Pretty, Pretty Princess"

This is some more great 1-1 time with Maggie. We got to play one of her favorites - Pretty, Pretty, Princess. You go around the board picking up earings, bracelet, necklace, ring, and then for your crowning victory, yep, the crown. Maggie won this time. She wins a lot in our games. I don't try to let her win, but I am not as tough to beat as when I play against an adult. She does seem to have a fair amount of luck on these games.

It is fun to dress up with her, although I can never do the bracelet on my own.

I do enjoy this wonderful little girl and in many ways she has been my oasis in the desert of "mommyhood". Maggie will often come up to me and kindly tell me she loves me. She is very gentle, kind, and thoughtful. I enjoy her so much, and to top it all off, she is so cute!

Monday, August 29, 2011

You can still be manly and hang out in the kitchen

I love this little guy! He is so much fun. In the 6 months he has struggled so much with speech and movement, but he is doing great. We are finding that he has quite the mischievous streak now that he has found his voice. While this picture is not showing a portion of that personality trait, it is showing off some of William's other interests...like his sister's shoes. I found him playing in the kitchen wearing his sister's white sandals. I went to grab the camera and all I can figure is that he figured out that at some point in the future he would be embarrassed by this and pulled them off. If you look close, you can see he had just finished pulling off his right sandal. We just giggle at these things. We know that he is surrounded by a lot of girls and we just love that he is getting so much more social and is having fun dressing himself.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Somewhere over the rainbow

Top of Maggie's cake. Very yummy!

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Line of Choristers

A few years ago during church, and mostly out of frustration, I started helping whichever whiny child it was on my lap to "lead" the music much the way a chorister would. They quieted down and life was a little easier. Since then I have used it on numerous children and evidently the others were watching because now all of my children enjoy "leading the music".

This is "Family Home Evening". A tradition in our family that every Monday evening we turn off the TV, close our front door, and spend it with just our family. We usually incorporate a few songs, a lesson, activity, and hopefully a dessert. We have various success with this attempt. Some nights I want to run and hide, others like this one I want to...take a picture! I love all my kids, but even for me sometimes it is a lot to deal with. Savoring these sweet moments is wonderful (and necessary-not every melt down is solved by a little music lesson).

PS A special shout out to my friend Becky who taught me in our college years how to lead music by asking me to substitute every Sunday for Sacrament meeting.

Friday, August 26, 2011

My kind, um I mean Maggie's kind of birthday party!

I asked Maggie what she wanted to do for her birthday this year. We have never had a friend party for her and she asked if she could invite some friends and dip chocolate. Maybe I should not have asked her so soon after we did this as a friend "playdate" for my older kids during the summer time. So we invited a few cousins and friends (Maggie is no respecter of persons or age, all in this picture were invited with the exception of me). We were just getting done dipping gummy bears and were starting in on the pretzels. All enjoyed the activity. We ended up not doing any other activities as the kids were happy doing some playing in the other room and my game activity did not work out as expected, so we cancelled it. All in all, it was a lot of fun and very low stress (again, my type of party). Happy birthday big girl!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Hungry, Hungry, Hippos

This was probably the first day of school. I, like almost all people, make resolutions to spend more time with my kids. Little brother was sleeping, which makes this an unusual selection, but the girls wanted to play it. Hungry, Hungry, Hippos is a game I remember from my childhood, although I don't remember it being so obnoxiously loud as I feel it is now. We had fun each playing our own versions. Maggie was playing what most would call the "traditional method". Rosi was having a kick loading up the "loading trays". These are where the marbles go to wait until they are released into the furry of the game. Rosi had no qualms reaching into your "captured pool" of marbles to re-stock her fun. And mom, I got to try to balance the two players and keep everyone happy. Oh, it is fun to spend a good 20 minutes playing with the girls, however I definitely needed some "mommy quiet time" afterward. It is good for them to watch movies every once in a while, right?

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Dress up

Maggie helped Rosi get into this dress. I was impressed that they even found the headband with the ears and bow! Rosi loves this dress, but it is about 2 inches too long (I think it is actually 5 sizes too big). Rosi had fun running around in it, but got very frustrated with tripping. I followed her around for a bit holding it up, but I gave up.


This mom rocks!

Every once in a while life parallels my emotions...in a good way! This morning is one of those days where while everything has not gone according to my plans, I have none-the-less had great achievements. I have gotten laundry washed, sorted, and put away with the kid's help (all my kids have about two weeks worth of clean clothes). I have washed dishes, and re-packaged 40 pounds of hamburger (bulk purchase in too large of containers to just shove into the freezer). I have bathed two babies, gotten three kids off to school, and I am sure half a dozen more things. But for me the most important parts are helping my kids feel successful and ready in getting ready for the day, having a good attitude all morning long, and did I mention playing games with Maggie after I successfully got two babies to sleep?

I am learning to measure success on my terms. For me, it is not about what most of the world values or gawk at, but rather helping my children take those baby steps to becoming successful, happy and independent individuals. I have seen a lot of success by giving them responsibilities to accomplish every morning and then assisting them with the chores. For example, the older three kids do dishes four times a week, two breakfast and two dinners, I tell them I am available to help them for the first 15 minutes after the meal is over. They can choose to waste that time or take advantage of it to their benefit. I know this means I am still doing dishes almost 100% of the time, but I am finding my kids quality of doing dishes improving, and I hope they are starting to learn how quickly and easy dishes really are.

This picture was actually taken a month ago, not today, but it so represent how happy our family feels when I am being successful for my family.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Books read - The Lost Symbol

I read this book recently (on my husband's new E-reader) and found it to be fun and interesting. I learned a bit about Mason's through it. I have a grandpa and others who I have known who are/were Mason's. I thought it had an interesting perspective about symbolism. He described taking communion/sacrament that most Christian groups do every Sabbath. The way he described it to his college students, they were all repulsed. When he pointed out he was talking about communion (eating and drinking the symbolic equivalent of another person's flesh and blood) they thought he was describing some type of pagan or demonic cult. He then explained to them that often when outside the group, it can be difficult to understand symbolism.

The book on the whole was great. I had a difficult time putting it down to do what I needed to do (laundry, cooking, playing with my kids, etc), which was additionally challenging because it was a really long book, so I spent a lot of time in this dilemma. It was a fun book and I appreciate a book that causes me to stop and think about how I perceive the world around me.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

How many...?

Who can forget this commercial from our childhood days? How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie center? One...two...three...crunch...the world may never know. Very clever advertising. This is somewhat the way I feel about growing out my hair. Two weeks ago I shaved it bald. Now I anxiously await it's growth. My kids will tell you that it is no longer prickly. It is considered by most who rub it as being soft. So two weeks in it is soft although you can still see my scalp through it. And thus we will wait to see how long it will take to grow out.

kid's jokes and other funny things

Brother: I love mommy with knockers.
Sister: What?
Brother: A mommy who tells knock knock jokes.
(this conversation was actually between a friend's kids)

MaggieMae: Mom, did you know that buggers are sticky?
Mom: Um yes (I am currently driving down the freeway)
MaggieMae: Mom, did you know that buggers are warm?
Mom: Um thanks.

In church, JJ is snuggling up with mom.
JJ: Mom, did you know it is warm under your arm (armpit)?
Mom: Yes JJ.
JJ: It is kind of cozy there. Can I put my hands there, they are cold?

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

I could never be a mother of six children...

I could never be the mother of three autistic children... I could never be the mother of twins... And the list goes on. I often have comments made to me like this. I don't normally make the comment that comes to my mind when I hear this, "Yes, if you were in that position, you would do it". Much like the person who goes through a child having cancer or the spouse who has been paralyzed. We all find the way to make what we have work, but recently I have been giving this some thought as to how I am successful when so many others confess their certain inability to handle such a situation. The conclusion I came to is that I can do this because I am not the person I was when I was a mother of one. I think often people think of how much "work it is to be a mom of one" and times that by six. If I interacted with my children in the way I did when I was a mom of one, I would be exhausted (well, ok, I'd be even more exhausted). A beautiful analogy came to my mind the other day when grilling sandwiches for lunch. I realized that if I did each sandwich individually, that would be a lot more work, however, I have learned that if I cook six sandwiches at the same time, then the work is more than one, but significantly less that 6 times one. I reflected on this premise and decided that I must do that in other areas of my life. So I started on a hunt for other examples of this in my life. Here is what I came up with:
  • I often combine my children's needs together. For example, I cook for, bath, and dress my children together. I help them to understand that part of a family means being patient for each other and well as pulling together.
  • I encourage self-independence. My older kids are capable of bathing, dressing, washing clothes, folding and putting away their laundry, making their lunches, and following a morning "getting ready for the day" list. My toddlers walk most of the time.
  • I insist on consistent sleep times. My kids go to bed early(7/7:30) and may arise early if they want. They can not come out of bed until 6:00 am. Weekends and holidays are the same. We have one cousin that will spend the nights occasionally. When he joins our family he sleeps our schedule (which is his school night schedule). I find a well rested family is less emotional, performs activities and responsibilities more effectively and argue less.
  • I am very consistent with the rules, and expect all of my children to follow them. This has had many extra blessings, I am told by others that my children follow directions well and have good manners. While my children will still goof off, they know that there is a "bar" and expect to be help up to realistic expectations.
  • My children help out with chores. This usually starts around 5 years old. Before that they assist mom, after 5 they have their own chores that mom assists with when she is available. My kids do the dishes, laundry, scrub bathrooms, vacuum floors including stairs, and pull weeds.
These are some of the more physical changes of being a mom of six. Some of the emotional ones are letting your kids tough it out. I am very laid back when it comes to my kids as far as what they can do, etc. I am also very aware of what they are capable of and what is beyond them (usually emotionally). I don't push my kids beyond their limits, but I don't fret about the little things either. I also have realized that tomorrow is a do-over. When I mess something up or they do, we just do-over it tomorrow. Life is rarely a "do-or-die" situation. We focus a lot on learning and improving not on our failures.

So could I be a mother of a kid with cancer or have a spouse that is paralyzed? Yes, but I am fine to stay right where I am. Could you be a mother of six...mother of 3 kids with autism...mother of twin toddlers? I expect you could, but like most things in life it is a journey.

My advice? Don't worry about whether you could handle someone else's place in life, just focus on being where you are.

Monday, August 1, 2011

What is a talent?

Wow, that is a big stack of coins! Got to love when your clip art is not exactly what you intended! I guess I need to work on my talent for matching up pictures to my posts a little bit better.

I picked this picture because I can not think of developing or having talents without thinking of the Parable of the Talents. I think that many people have very different definitions of what a talent is. For some it is a hobby that shows people how well you excel in a particular area (piano, dancing, etc). Others say a talent is a way to develop and discipline yourself/your personality (talent for mechanical things). Lastly we have a view that talents are the polite way of naming something about a person to give something that everyone can be successful at regardless if it brings any extended worth to the individual or society as a whole (that person is talented at flipping cards). For me I have not yet developed a concise description of what talents are, but I know they have a few qualities:
  • A talent must be developed over time through discipline. Some people are gifted in music, art, academics, etc but it is not a talent until you develop it beyond what comes naturally into something of greater worth because of your action to develop it.
  • A talent is not meant for self-consumption. It is meant to be shared in a positive uplifting manner to benefit the community individually or at large. There are some who will take a hobby which it's main focus is to entertain the individual, and claim it to be a talent. It is possible to have a talent be a hobby, but a hobby does not necessarily fit the definition of a talent.
  • A talent is meant to take you outside of your comfort zone in a comfortable way. It is a way of taking a leap of faith while having a hand to hold.
  • A talent develops you. It causes you to reach deep within yourself to bring forth what could not come out on it's own. It is a vehicle for you to develop such traits as patience, persistence, determination, humility, reaching out to others, etc.
On a personal note:
  • I think that a talent is based on creativity. Most often it creates something new. It is not talented to continually repeat something you have mastered in the past. You must continue to create new levels of competency and development.
  • I also believe that talents you develop now help you to prepare for the future, most importantly future trials.
  • I feel that development of a talent brings you closer to God. I know that when I have the opportunity to focus on drawing/painting, there is a peace and centeredness that I have experienced in only one other situation - the feelings of the Spirit. I feel a deep connection with the Creator as I create my meager attempts at art.
The Parable of the Talents is one of the more commonly known Parables (at least in the circles I travel in). It portrays the story of a Master leaving for a time, but before he does, he calls three of his servants to him. He gives them different sums of money (called Talents) one he gives 5, another 2, and the last he gives one. Then he departs. The servants that were given 5 and 2talents put their money to the traders and receive back 5 and 2 more Talents respectively. The servant that received but one talent buried it. When the Master comes back he calls all three back to him to give an accounting of what they have done with his Talents. The first two report back predictably showing him their increase. He is pleased. The final servant shows him the one Talent and says that he knew the Master was harsh and reaped where he had not sown and so he hid the talent. The Master is displeased with the servant telling him, "Thou wicked and slothful servant..." and takes the original Talent away from him and gives it to the first (St. Matt. 25:14-30).

Things that impact me from this story is that Talents are given to us to "add unto". In other words to improve upon. This is why I don't choose to say that people are talented just because they can do something well. It could be their "gift". I only consider it a talent if they have worked to improve and develop it. I also believe that one of the things we will be held accountable to when we leave this life to enter the next is what we did with our time and talents. We will be called upon to recon with the Lord and to show him what we did with what we had. I believe that time is part of that responsibility that we have. It is one of the ways we are equal. We all can choose to spend our time how we desire. Some with have to spend more time at work to support a family, others may have health needs that also take a lot of time, but we all seem to have some measure of discretionary time. I feel that one of the important things we can do with this time is developing our talents as well as helping those whom we have responsibility towards develop their talents.