Have you ever "Googled yourself"?

I have before and always came up with other "Kristina Park"s. Tonight I did it probably because I was thinking about 20 years since high school graduation - which drifted off to trying to track down a high school best friend - which drifted to me googling myself. For the record I did it about 4 months ago and got nothing. I did it tonight and was represented on three of the seven and was in the #1 spot. Not sure if this really means anything, but it was kind of exciting. Most of what I was noted for is the advocacy stuff we have been working on for the last 6 weeks or so.

So pondering the nostalgia for the high school days and friends brings me to the realization that it is what I am doing now that counts (at least on a google search). I'd still like to see old friends, but I am so thankful that here where I am in life is exactly where I want to be and what makes me the happiest.

As a side note, if anyone knows of a reputable place to track down classmates or high school reunions, I'd like to hear about it. I thought I found "the" place, paid my $10. and they had no info. There are about 6 other classmates listed on there, but not any close friends and no reunion info. It was interesting to me that most of them still live in Delaware (one made it all the way to North Carolina), most of them don't seem to be married or have any kids. Sort of sad to me. Twenty years is a long time to be without a family. Most of the people I went to school with seemed to value success more than family. I guess I probably did at that time too (I was a teenager after all) but I know I figured I would grow up and have a family. It took considerably longer than I expected, but I am thrilled with my selection (husband) and results (children and let's not forget the soon-to-be twins!!!).

Jesus for Mayor

Feb 2009
My kids for some reason have been very interested in who the Mayor is. They are still separating out Civics and Church. I had a very funny conversation with them the last week or so. AnnaLisa had asked me who our Mayor was. I told her "Mayor Berman". He was at a neighborhood activity that we went to recently and gave the kids a ride in his electric car. They have seen all the signs up for the Mayoral and town council race. I commented that while he was a nice guy, I did not think he was honest and that I was going to vote for someone else. JJ piped up, "Vote for Jesus". I had to smile because it was just so sincere. I told him Jesus was not running for mayor, but if he was, I'd vote for him.
March 2009
Well, they are having a "run-off" between the top placers for Mayor. We will be having another election in May. Jesus was not listed on there. I'd still vote for him. I think the two candidates for office are both good options, but I will need to work on it a bit more before then.

This may post twice. For some reason it said it posted, but did not show on my blog, so I am reposting (thankfully I copied it before I published it).

banging rocks

I have heard about washing your clothes on rocks...but with rocks? Today I did a ton of laundry and I threw one load into our dryer (which is probably on it's last leg) and I kept hearing this banging. MaggieMae was sleeping, so I got up to find out what it was. I opened the door and there were two rocks sitting in the lint catch. Then when I lifted up the clothes I found 6 more rocks. If I add this to the first two plus the one I found in the washer when I pulled the clothes out, that makes 9. I just had to laugh. I knew it was JJ. He is always stuffing rocks into his pockets, bringing them home to me, showing me them. No mind you this is Arizona the world capitol of rock front yards. We have a rock front yard. But JJ insists on bringing these rocks home anyway (as a bonus he brings a ton of sand in his shoes as well. One day I found him in the backyard trying to empty the sand into an empty sandbox we have back there. It was a wonderful plan until day three when we had torrential rain and it washed all the sand out of the box.) I started up the dryer and there were still some banging noise. Jeff was home today, so I sent him in with instructions to find the last few. He found two more and there was still one banging around that he guessed was actually still in one of JJ's pockets as he could not find it. When i took the clothes out later, I did find the 12th rock in the lint catcher.

Well, I guess I should not complain. At least it was not lizards like I found in the washer - but that shall be a story for another sleepless night.

...what do you do when you can't fall asleep?

So what do you do when it is 11:30 at night, and you can't fall asleep? You think about how you are still out of eggs (it has been two days now), ignore it, and blog. My SIL would be so proud of me. She was the one who helped me to see how much fun this could be.

I have been sick for the last 2-3 weeks (on top of being in my first trimester). I guess I could be throwing laundry into wash (the rates are down, it is after 9) or filling the dishwasher (like usual lately, today's dishes will get done in the morning). Ah, well, I guess it is times like this that I realize I am not nearly the "slacker" homemaker that I think I am on a regular basis. Times like this help me ( and my family) see how good they usually have it.

Today I folded half the clothes in the house (literally). At least 5 baskets of clothes and piled as high as my chest of drawers. It is wonderful to get them out of here and into closets. Getting dressed in the morning will be so much easier - for the kids and Jeff. Some how the two loads of laundry that still need to be washed are - you guessed it - mine. How did that happen?

So now I have two things to feel guilty about - no eggs and still have dirty laundry that I could be washing during non-peak hours. That is the wonderful thing about motherhood - always something you can feel guilty about. But you know what, I don't. Maybe I am having a bad attitude about this, but I don't feel guilty. I am thinking I am doing pretty good with what I accomplished. Did I tell you I made cheeseburgers for the kids tonight? I can't even stand the smell, much less eat them. But the kids loved it. I made myself a nice large salad with a little breaded chicken thrown in for protein. Tried raisins too. They are yummy! No boiled eggs - still out.

So what has been keeping me busy?

The last two weeks (and to some extent the last 1 1/2 months) I have been really involved in helping parents of children birth to three stand up for their children with developmental delays' rights. On January 31, 2009 Arizona Legislature amended the 2009 state budget which in this case meant making huge cuts to education and social programs. AzEIP was severely cut back. So these kids that among other things have autism, down syndrome, epilepsy, are deaf or blind, etc have had services that are federal mandated, (and are at least partially if not fully funded) by the federal government cut to them. I know of families that have kids on feeding tubes that are having feeding therapy cut off, blind kids and their families are soon not going to be able to learn braille, kids who are almost two and not able to sit up being cut off from physical therapy, etc.

Unfortunately because these kids do not have a paid lobbyist or an already established Association there is no one ready and able to fight for them. It is left to parents like me that have seen the benefits of Early Intervention on my children to try to find, educate and encourage these parents to stand up for what their children need. Most of these parents are barely treading water in their own lives and now they are suppose to be fighting the legislature against budget cuts. The children of these parents are not even treading water, hence the need for Early Intervention services.

For an example of how awesome some of these parents are fighting this, of the 2240 children that had their services cut off through DDD, the AzEIP office has received 100 disputes. Now I understand that is less than 1 %, but in the last several years, there has been like 3 disputes. So to go from 3 per two years to 100 in 3 weeks - that is a whole bunch of people standing up and getting involved. We talk about children being the future, we say to have compassion on those less abled, it is time for Arizona to stand up and start doing something about that.

You always hear that good things come out of bad situations

I had an epiphany last week and I thought I would share it. About 5 years ago I went on bed rest for about 5 weeks - I was pregnant with JJ and was around 30 weeks when I started having pre-term contractions. It was a frustrating period for me because even when I did very little, I would have contractions. I literally had to stay in bed all day. My wonderful mother came and spent about 4 of those weeks with our family. She ran our house well and got to spend a lot of time with my oldest two AnnaLisa (almost 3 yrs old) and Andrew, (1 1/2 years old). One of the things I learned was that sometimes you just have to let other people help you. I had many meals brought in, friends cleaning my house for me, family (beyond my mother) helping with the kids - we were really blessed to know how much we were cared for. I realized that there are times in your life when you just need to allow others to help you.

Then fast forward five years later when I get my epiphany. My mom spent 4 weeks with my kids who have autism (although at the time we did not know this). She went through 4 weeks of an almost three year old saying, "shut the door" and "watch out" and that was it. AnnaLisa never recognized my mother as anything beyond the hired help. She had no personal relationship with her grandmother. My mom does not push herself on other people (which is what you have to do with my kids, and especially at that time), so AnnaLisa never "warmed up" to my mom. It was probably about a month later that we got the diagnosis of autism for AnnaLisa. My mom was totally supportive of it and us. She constantly let us know that we could do this and that she thought we were right. I look back and she was the person that it mattered the most to me that she did not disagree (many did back then, but none that personally knew AnnaLisa).

So I realized last week two of the valuable blessings that came from that trial. I will always be thankful for that time, although it drove me crazy laying in bed for 5 weeks (which ironically I went another 4 weeks, past my due date, and had to be induced to bring JJ into the world). One, that I learned that at times in our life we need to slowdown (and sometimes stop) to take care of ourselves, and 2) having my mom understand the struggle I had with my kids made her ability to support (mostly mental and emotional agreement) make my struggle bearable and I never questioned my mother (or Mother In Law's) support in my journey of figuring out what I needed to do for my kids. This was real important because at first my husband was not able to recognize the magnitude of what we needed to do. They did.

Don't hurt my babies

Well, JJ went to his cousin's birthday party and had a great time. The theme was sports and they played a lot of fun games along those lines. At one point JJ got accidentally hit by a ball in his tummy. His response, "Don't hurt my babies". I think JJ may be taking this sympathy stuff a bit to far, but it is hysterical none the less.

I have three babies in my tummy...

This week JJ started telling people he had three babies in his tummy, 2 boys and one girl. He says he is just like mommy who has two babies in her tummy, a boy and a girl (we don't know gender yet). Together, his three babies and my two babies we will have four babies (yes the math is off) which make two twins.

This just makes me giggle - in part because it is so cute, and in part it is JJ trying to be like his mommy. My kids did not imitate as toddlers (MaggieMae is, I had to buy her a broom because every time I try to sweep the floor, she would want to do it too).

I did help him fix his math, so now we have "5" babies on record. I wonder what he is going to do when it comes time to deliver these babies.

Another cute story somewhat connected to this. JJ was snuggled up on my lap today and MaggieMae came to join. She crawled up on the only spot left and JJ started telling her she needed to be careful not to poke the babies pointing to my tummy. This was totally out of the blue, because I have not said anything to JJ about being careful with my tummy. -Maybe he just understand as he is in the "mothering way" himself.

Homemade bread

Four and a half years ago I decided I was going to venture off into the world of bread making. Jeff's mom had always done it for them, I knew it was suppose to be healthier, and one of my goals in life (as silly as this may sound) is to have "good music, and good smells in my home". So this is one of the ways I thought I could incorporate a few good ideas together. Well that was November 2004 - the month that JJ, my third, was born and AnnaLisa was diagnosed with autism. The next six months my world spun out of control - Andrew, then 2, was also diagnosed with autism. We were having great difficulties with AnnaLisa in general and especially with her being able to sleep at night. Well, I can honestly say that was the most challenging time to be a mom, wife, and person. So the bread making went by the way side.

Flash back to the present - about a month ago I finally tried my hand at making bread. My mom was in town and she was spending the day with me. We pulled out a recipe my girlfriend had given me, bought what I still needed and borrowed a wheat grinder (yes, we ground it from wheat - I feel like the Little Red Hen"). I made it with my mom's help and when those 5 loaves were ready to go in the oven, I have never been prouder of my "homemaking skills" (which I have always known are one of my weaker areas as a woman). I should have taken a picture. It will always be a memory to recall for me. Well, we over-cooked it, realized that the rack was too low and got the bread a lot crisper and darker than it should have been, but Jeff was thrilled and delighted.

Well, that was last month (two days before we found out we were having twins), and my world has just been really busy. We went through the bread real quickly and had to fall back on store bought bread I had in the freezer. We were down to our final loaf and yesterday I tried it all on my own. Again I wish I had taken a picture of the loaves right before we cooked them, but here is an aftershot once they had cooled and been bagged up.

So what is left after this you might ask, well, I went to the store to get me a bread knife. I did not know how important this is, but once I cut a couple of thin slices for lunch, I realized that my "steak knives" were really not very good at cutting homemade bread.

It amazes me that it only takes about half hour to mix the bread (it would take less time, but my Kitchen Aid can't handle the full recipe, so I have to cut it in half and do two batches). I let the bread raise for about an hour and it takes a half hour to cook. So inside of two hours I can have 5 fresh loaves of bread.

An additional perk - with using whole wheat (I add a dough enhancer which makes full wheat bread lighter almost as light as white store bought bread) which has fiber. My kids need additional fiber in their diets. I am hoping that simply changing their bread to a healthier option will benefit them. Oh, and they love it. They ate it crust and all!

Double trouble?

This is MaggieMae's cousin Jade. She is visiting for a few days. Jade is about 3 months older than Maggie. It has been a lot of fun watching these two play together. At first it was a little stressful (balancing between MaggieMae's jealousy and Jade's missing her parents and me not knowing Jade well enough to predict what she needed)but now it has turned into quite enjoyable. I have figured out how to load them in the car (Maggie will wait, Jade will wonder), how to shop in a store with them (two carts are necessary, and even if some nice person offers, no strangers helping with the carts or to the car as it will set them off) and Jade has to be finished eating before I let Maggie down because Jade will immediately stop eating and insist on getting down.

My girlfriend laughed at the sight and said, "I thought the twins were not coming until the end of summer". I told her this has been real helpful to prepare me for meeting the girls needs simultaneously.

I have also been helped by Jade's older brother Isaiah (8 yr). He is staying with us too and has been a terrific helper too. All in all, this has been lots of fun.

This morning I thought I'd try putting a headband in Jade's hair to accessorize. I picked two pink ones and after I did MaggieMae's hair, Maggie grabbed one of them and put it on her head. It looks so "1980"'s, but I decided to leave it in as long as she wanted it.

Rambling?

So my life has been extremely busy with the Arizona budget crisis/cuts to Early Intervention (which I may explain in another post) but I have been letting my kids watch a little more TV than normal, making those super simple 5 minute meals, and the like to try and keep up on being a mom as well as an Early Intervention advocate. On Tuesday, I came out of back-to-back meetings (3 1/2 hours) and had to "vent" all the frustrating and exciting things that are happening to Jeff. Well after about 10 minutes of me just spewing out all this random (although connected in my mind and day), I apologized for rambling. - I guess that word popped in my mind because yesterday the kids were watching Word Girl (a PBS show) and the word for the day was "rambling". Jeff just laughed at me. He then told me this story:

This morning at breakfast JJ was talking about something, bouncing from one area to the next, when AnnaLisa turned to him and said, "JJ stop rambling". JJ stopped talking. Just about had Jeff falling off his chair.

So I guess that just shows how powerful TV is, not only did my kids carry it over to the next day at breakfast, but I carried it over too, -and I was in the next room cooking dinner!

Total Autism Moment

Ok, sometimes people have a difficult time understanding what Autism is and how it affects different people. There are a lot of overlaps (things that people think are totally normal - like a child thinking that they are the center of the world) and sometimes it is difficult to see. This happened this last week, and I thought to myself about my child, "You are so autistic". I am in the first trimester of pregnancy and like the rest of my pregnancies, I experience a bit of morning sickness. Well, one morning was rough, and I barely made it to the kitchen sink, I was actually in the middle of clearing a few dishes from the table. While I am throwing up in the sink, I can see my two youngest children behind me. MaggieMae (18 mo) gets a concerned look on her face and come over near me and tries to console me by patting my leg. JJ (4 yr, has autism) isn't phased at all and asks if I could put a movie in for him - mind you I am still puking while he is asking this. The thought clearly comes to my mind, he isn't oblivious, just has autism. Between sessions I tell him as soon as I am done, I will set it up. He quickly agrees, I finish up.

Now JJ doesn't think he is the center of the world, he just doesn't realize the rest of us have needs too. Once he found out he was being listened to and was getting what he wanted, he was happy. Did not enter his conscious to think that maybe something is wrong and he should at least show some compassion. MaggieMae, typical developing by all accounts, and 2 1/2 years younger than JJ sensed that mom is not well and wanted to make sure all was right.

Kindness of children

My kids are usually kind to me. Andrew seems to excel in this area (although he excels in driving me the most crazy as well). Andrew has also been demonstrating more observance of my morning sickness and overall bad feeling as a result of (hopefully) the first trimester of this pregnancy. I explained it first as just that mommy's tummy was sick. Well, the other day I was having a rough morning and shortly after that Andrew said family prayer. In it he asked that mommy's tummy would feel better and then turned around and thanked the Lord for receiving that blessing because he knew that I would feel better. What a sweet, faithful child.

Sometimes I wonder where my children came from - and then I remember that Heavenly Father sent them to me.

Three for three

In Primary (children's Sunday school class) today JJ's teacher was a little late, so I stayed with the kids in her class until she got there. Before Primary started JJ was sitting between two girls who are twin sisters. These girls know that I am pregnant with twins (and let me know every time I see them, "My mommy said you have two babies in your tummy"). JJ mentioned to me that he was sitting with his "friends". I asked him what their names were. He did not know (he does not really get interested enough in people to find out what their names are, he just usually calls them his friends). I have been trying to get JJ to reach out and ask people their names, so I demonstrated it with the girl on this left, Zoe. Then he introduced himself to her sister, on his right, Lucy. She signed her name to him and he got real excited because he loves to sign. And we had a nice chat with them signing their names to each other.

Later today, JJ has finally converted to the idea that mommy is having twins (AnnaLisa and Andrew both, individually, told me I was having twins before we found out). Actually he has known the twin part, but still would think it would result in only one baby. Today he went home teaching with Jeff to some friends of ours. They were talking about the twins and they asked JJ what to name the babies (JJ kept telling them that I had TWO babies in my tummy - which of course they already know). Well, today JJ decided that the two babies would be a boy and a girl (don't know if that was an original idea in his mind or what), but that they would also have the names of Zoe and Danny (Zoe and Danny are two of his friends in his Primary class).

Grateful for two thing

In an attempt to develop gratitude in my children, and especially in their prayers, we remind our children to please remember to that Heavenly Father for two things. We have been doing this for about 6 months now, and for the most part it is understood that is what we are to do in prayers.

One morning this week AnnaLisa was having a difficult time with being happy and pleasant to be around. It was time for morning family prayer and it was her turn. We gently reminded her that she needed to remember to be thankful for two things. I was not sure how the prayer was going to turn out (even after it started) and then she said, thank you for the twins and please bless them. After the prayer she said, "There are two twins". Well, that is my big girl AnnaLisa, always following the rules.